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Turning 31, SoHo and going for lunch
Turning 31 is way better than turning 30. There’s this big pressure around entering the next decade of your life, and especially the one starting with a three. This idea that you’re leaving behind your youth or something. It’s totally false. I’m pretty sure this is the best time of my life. Maybe I’m speaking only for myself, and maybe it’s just because a lot of your life settles over time naturally, but I am so much happier. In a deeper way than ever before. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve put a lot of work into myself, I literally had to relearn how to be loved after a hearts (and home) wrecking relationship ended – among other things. When I say I’ve put in the work, I really mean it. I’ve grown and changed in a way that I wasn’t sure I could, and didn’t know I would ever have to. Superficial happiness is real, and fulfilling and fun. But this is different. I’m different. I’m not just happy in a I’m so in lust with you way, or I had four tequila mates last night and I can’t feel my feet from dancing, or wow look how good my ass looks in these new jeans. Those feelings are amazing, and they haven’t gone away – in fact they’ve become more frequent, even. I have more money, I have more confidence, and I’m surrounded by people who I adore, pretty much all the time. I feel like I can finally enjoy those moments. I now have this internal feeling that’s almost like butterflies but more like worms. Squirming around my body waking up some new part every day. Tingling at my feet, giving me goosebumps when I least expect it, intensifying my smell for sweet and my taste for delicious. Somehow, in someway, even when I am sad, or upset, (which happens, a lot sometimes) I am still filled with worms. I didn’t know what the worms were at first, it was a feeling I had never felt before, it was true and deep happiness. Happiness in a way you cant define or control, and in a way you don’t really want to. A feeling of being content, one of joy. A feeling that’s just started to settle in me and looks like it’s about to stick around for a very long time.
I celebrated the end of 30 and the start of 31 at the beach with the people I love, a surprise afternoon of cake, and then again eating pasta and holding hands with Lucas. I feel lucky. Lucky in life, in love and in worms.
What the fuck is going on with the stores in Soho? Do any of you recognize the name of a single store on Broadway? I’ve lived here for just shy of a decade and I don’t know what happened, but it seems like suddenly the stores between Canal and Houston are now a front for… something. The other day I was walking home from my new office and noticed a stored called “Unfashional”. In the few weeks I’ve been working at this new job I‘ve noticed a different weird store almost every day, but something just didn’t sit right with me this time. I hated the name so much. It’s not a word! What is this place? There was no way anyone shopped here, and I was going to figure out what was going on. I am a master of finding out a lot with very little. I’ve gotten most of my practice from years of online dating (and my friends online dating). I know everyone says they’re good, and I’m sure they are – but I’m literally better. My ex boyfriend used a fake name, lied about his job and where he lived when we first started talking; I still managed to find his Instagram. So now that you know I’m good, I feel comfortable telling you that I have no idea what’s going on with Unfashional, but I know it screams the five families. There’s no other explanation for being able to afford rent in Miami, Meatpacking and albeit closed now, Soho.
At the end of June I was laid off from my job of 5 years. it came out of nowhere and flipped my world upside down. It felt like how I imagine it feels to be a cockroach who is now lying on his back, antennas flailing, after someone tried to kill it but didn’t quite succeed. To be fair, I’m not good with change to begin with; I like my things where they are. So when I’ve spent every day since I was 25 years old doing the same thing with people I really love, getting told I don’t get to do it anymore is pretty… rattling. Cockroach, legs in the air – that’s me. I adored what I did, which if you know me, was more than just what I did. It was, for better or worse, who I am, er, was. I’m still getting used to that. I also like routine, and without one I feel pretty lost.
I don’t usually eat lunch, but when you lose your job, you take the money you no longer have and you take yourself to The Odeon for lunch on a Wednesday. My boyfriend accompanied me (which I know sort of ruins the illusion of woman taking herself out for a solo dine) but I paid and we had fun. I got there first, it was pretty empty and I ordered an iced tea and an omelet with fries. We ordered the donut holes for dessert, too. Dessert at lunch is better than dessert at any other time. It feels indulgent in a way it doesn’t at dinner. Writing about sitting in a fancy restaurant in the middle of the day is reminding me of the Jack Schlossberg Resta-rant that I found and continue to find very funny. I didn’t pay much attention to the people around us, but my boyfriend was on high alert. He had never been to The Odeon before. I know, can you believe it? It’s the New York (of a certain crowd) version of dating someone without social media. Which by the way, he also does not have! He is a rare breed. Maybe a Xolo? A woman walked in wearing jean shorts with too much spandex (I’d estimate around 4%), a forgettable tank top and Buffalo Tower Platforms. What? White ones. Her hair was straightened, her lipstick was baby pink and her sunglasses appeared to be Versace “dupes” (knockoffs! bring back that word). She was about 4’11, so like 5’4 with the platforms. I wished she had been wearing stilettos, but it was obvious she wouldn’t have been able to walk in them. She too ordered an omelet – but with egg whites only, and to drink she had a martini with olives and a twist. Personally I think you should choose one. Honestly, I didn’t even clock her when she first walked in, it was Lucas who leaned in to tell me to look at her shoes, to which I replied “I wore those in high school but mine were black and it was 2008”. He was also the one to point out her order, and after describing it to me before I turned around to look at it myself said “she must come here every day and order that”. I was so confused. It was so clear to me that this woman had probably never been there before, and would probably never be back. The platforms were what gave it away. They were not conveying any form of personal style or even irony – they seemed like they were purely for the function of gaining a few inches. No one who wears Buffalo platforms for function and jean shorts with more stretch than yoga pants eats here regularly. They just don’t! And you know what, neither do I. At least not for lunch in the middle of the week.
It’s almost the end of the month, so here’s what I bought. High and Low lights to come next week.
Things I bought
Ancient Greek Saionara flip flops in red: when I first drafted this newsletter I wrote: “worth it! I really like how sturdy the leather sole is”. Now that I’ve worn then I can say they are absolutely not worth it. Why is no one talking about how painful these are? They ripped my feet apart. I am currently trying to get my money back. If anyone has any tips…
MNZ x J Crew baby tees: I’ll be honest, it took me a few days to warm up to the collection. I ordered the black and white tees the day it dropped and then a couple other things a few days later. The proportions are perfect for me. The cap sleeve isn’t tight, and the body is short enough for someone who’s 5’2. Still some sizes left, and affordable.
All Fours by Miranda July: haven’t read it yet, but excited to.
A straw coloured long sleeve top: its pale yellow, it’s from Flore Flore and its very cute. Sold out but here it is in a very good pink.
A tiny pen for my first day of work: I was drawn to the odd colour combination of orange and khaki and very happy to find out that she fits in the coin purse of my wallet.
A bag of Chex Mix: not sure food really counts in “things I bought” over the month, but this is an honorable mention. I like the rye chips and the tiny breadsticks best, but who doesn’t.
Brooke Callaghan’s brown tie skirt: I’ve been looking at her for months and finally pulled the trigger. I want to wear her in the summer with a grey camisole and in the winter with a cool sweater. She’s on her way to me. Brooke does colour very well, if brown isn’t your thing, this skirt in bud might be.
The Genesis Packable Sport Sandal from Xero Shoes: thank you to Laura Reilly from Magasin for linking these. I was influenced. They take some getting used to. I think they look best with pants.
I recently went to the doctor for my annual visit. I expressed that I wanted to lose a little weight and that it was proving to be harder than I remembered, to which she replied “well, you’re in your 30s now”.
